"Stillstand" is a photographic essay about my time in the spring and summer of 2020 in my hometown Münster when the pandemic slowly began and we had a moment of hope in the middle of the year, when the numbers decreased. I spent a lot of time inside and only left the house to get groceries or to take a walk. I developed a new sense of my home, time and contact to others. Phone and video calls became a routine and the daily updates concerning the safety of our health echoed in my mind and caused a feeling of absurdity. Questions overlapped and my apartment was filled up with surgical masks, disinfection and rubber gloves. Over time I focussed on the everyday life: holding a cup in my hand, washing dishes or touching the blankets. The day decreased in speed and increased in anxiety. The danger coupled with the fatigue was contradictory to me, but I was confronted with this ambivalence. In April, I helped my parents move and decluttered with them things they had accumulated over several decades. A lot of it ended up in my apartment. In May I met my friend Cewin again, with whom I went for walks or grocery shopping. Little by little, my circle of chosen people loosened and I saw other important people, including my family, whom I had to protect the most. But the panic to infect them prevailed and I barely took off the mask. In waves I felt safe, and then episodes of realization came up. A constant up and down and there is still no end in sight. In retrospect, it has become a portrait, the places where and the people with whom I felt comfortable.
Aria In My Kitchen, Münster, 2019